When Customers Take Your Breath Away (And Won’t Give It Back!)

I am allergic to perfume. As I am taking orders at the restaurant where I work, an allergen approaches.

Allergen: “Hi. Could I have [order]?”

I try to speak without breathing or coughing. I then have a coughing fit.

Allergen: “Oh, my God.”

Unable to be useful, I run into the back, sounding like I’m dying, leaving the lady there without explanation. I easily get the attention of a coworker due to the racket and just point.

I continue to cough violently for several minutes, even throwing up a little from the pressure the spasms put on my abdomen. This is probably what inhalers are for. 

Coworker: “Hey, I brought you water and lemonade. Do you need to go to the hospital?”

Me: *Gasping* “I’m. Okayyyy. Thanks.” *Carefully drinks*

Coworker: “That lady wanted you to be fired because clearly there is something wrong with you.”

Me: “I’m allergic to perfume. I wish people wouldn’t do this to me and then blame me. Anyway, the lemonade will help.”

Since then, wearing N95s has become socially acceptable, and it does help a lot, just like it helps with smoke and germs.

You smell fine. Stop wearing scented products.