When Bosses Collide

| Working | April 1, 2013

Assistant Manager: “Did you make those sandwiches in the cooler?”

Me: “Yup.”

Assistant Manager: “You did them all wrong! They are totally f***ed up!”

Me: “What’s wrong with them?”

Assistant Manager: “The CHEESE goes on the TOP and the MEAT goes on the BOTTOM, godd*** it!”

Me: “That’s not what [Manager] told me last week.”

Assistant Manager: “SHUT UP!”

(He grabs the tray of sandwiches and throws it hard against the wall, putting a dent in the wall and spilling the sandwiches all over the floor.)

Assistant Manager: “Now pick that sh** up and do it RIGHT!”

(The next day…)

Manager: “Who made these sandwiches?!”

Me: “I did.”

Manager: “They’re all WRONG! You’ve been working here for two weeks and you can’t even make the d*** sandwiches right?!”

Me: “How did I make them wrong?”

Manager: “You put the cheese on top and the meat on the bottom! The cheese is supposed to be on the bottom and the meat is supposed to be on top, for like the millionth time!”

Me: “Well, [Assistant Manager]—”

Manager: “I don’t want to hear your excuses!”

(She dumps the sandwiches in the trash.)

Manager: “Make them again, the right way this time!”

Me: “I could have just fixed those. You didn’t have to throw them out.”

Manager: “Stop running your d*** mouth and make new sandwiches! GOD, we’ve been losing so much money ever since you started here!”

(The day after that, the assistant manager and manager are both in the deli at the same time. I hear my assistant manager talking under his breath about me to the manager.)

Assistant Manager: “Look at that dumba** [My Name] over there. He always f***s up the sandwiches.”

Manager: “I know! Every day he works, the sandwiches are all wrong!”

Assistant Manager: “Yeah. Plus, he put that dent in the wall.”

Manager: “That was him? [My Name]!”

Me: “Yes?”

Manager: “You did this?!” *points to the dent in the wall*

Me: “Nope. That was [Assistant Manager]. He did it when he threw the tray of sandwiches two days ago.”

Manager: “Now you’re lying and trying to get him in trouble?! I don’t even know why I hired you! I know it was YOU who threw that tray of sandwiches!”

Assistant Manager: “Yeah, what are you doing, blaming me for what YOU did? You can’t even make the f***ing sandwiches!”

Me: “All right, just so I understand once and for all, why don’t you show me the right way to make the sandwiches?”

Assistant Manager: “Don’t get smart with me. Your a** is already on thin ice.”

(He grumbles to himself the whole time, cursing me out in a low voice, but goes and gets the sandwich supplies.)

Assistant Manager: “Now, WATCH, and maybe you’ll learn something for once in your f***ing life.”

(My assistant manager starts making a sandwich with the cheese on top and the meat on the bottom, like he told me to do.)

Manager: “Whoa, whoa, [Assistant Manager]. What the h*** are you doing?!”

Assistant Manager: “What…?”

Manager: “The meat goes on top and the cheese goes on the bottom!”

Assistant Manager: “No, it doesn’t!”

Manager: “That’s company policy, and always has been!”

Assistant Manager: “They look better the other way! More people buy them this way!”

Manager: “Are you f***ing insane?! Stop doing it this crazy way and do it the way you’re supposed to!”

Assistant Manager: “This is the best way to do it, b****! I don’t give a sh** what corporate says!”

Manager: “I can’t believe I’m hearing this!”

(The two of them kept yelling back and forth at each other, throwing and smashing the sandwich supplies all over the place. After a minute or two, I casually started whistling, unfastened my name badge, dropped it on the floor, and walked out the front door. A month later, the deli was out of business.)

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