When Alcoholism Is Contagious

| Right | October 27, 2015

(My father is moving boxes of ceiling tiles. My dad lifts one up and hits me square in the nose, breaking it. After we check in at the hospital and I get seated at a bed, we witness an older man roll in on a stretcher and begin to talk to his nurse, obviously intoxicated.)

Nurse: “Hi, how are you doing today? My name is [Nurse] and I will be your nurse.”

Man: “Well, I’m doing fine; I just have no idea how I got here.”

Nurse: “It says here you collapsed unconscious. Did you drink any alcohol today?”

Man: “Yes. Yes, I did.”

Nurse: “And how much did you drink?”

Man: “Around two cups of vodka.”

Nurse: “That’s a lot.”

Man: “Yeah, but if you met my wife, you’d know it’s not enough.”

Nurse: *chuckles*

Man: “That’s the best thing about hospitals, you can say whatever you want and no one judges you because you’re sick.”

Nurse: “All right, Mr. Wise-Guy, I need to take your blood pressure.”

Man: “I like you. What is your name again?”

Nurse: “Thank you, it’s [Nurse].”

Man: “Yeah, you have nice tits. I’ll call you [Nurse] with the big tits.” *laughs*

Nurse: “…”

Dad: *under his breath* “If we are going to be here any longer, I’ll need a drink myself…”

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