When A Bad Customer Becomes An Itch You Can Scratch

An old lady comes in for a refund, which I process. After, she remains standing there.

Customer: “…well?”

Me: “Was there anything else, madam?”

Customer: “I should be given something for free to compensate me for the time it took me to come back here.”

Me: “Madam, you came back for a 58p loaf of bread.”

Customer: “Give me a scratchcard for all this hassle.”

Me: “No, you can have another loaf of bread though—”

Customer: “—NO! I WANT WHAT I WANT, NOT WHAT YOU WANT!”

Without any warning, she knocks over a stack of Pringles in front of the checkouts. At this point, I’m already losing interest in going further with this, and my staff is getting a bit worried, so I sign off the till and tell her:

Me: “If you don’t leave in thirty seconds, I will have to escort you out of the shop or call the police.”

Customer: “NO YOU WON’T! I HAVE RIGHTS! I DIDN’T COME ALL THIS WAY TO BE TREATED LIKE S***!”

Me: “I didn’t come to work today to be treated like s*** by you. You want to act like a child, I’m going to treat you like one. You could’ve walked away with some free bread, but now you walk away with the feeling that you f***ed up so bad you’re not going to be allowed back in here, and I know that will hurt because I see you in here every day.”

Customer: “Like you have the power to ban customers.”

Me: “Wanna waste a journey again tomorrow and find out?”

She stood there, firm for about ten more seconds. When she realized I wasn’t blinking, she gave me the British ‘up yours’ (two fingers) and galloped out. She came in the next day to complain to my boss, who responded by picking out a scratch card, scratching it himself, declaring himself a winner, and still telling her to f*** off. 

My boss actually did win a fiver, but he gave it to charity to remove any potential conflict of interest.