What’s Your Poison?

(My boyfriend and I are currently playing a video game. A cut-scene is playing in which one character, who has been serving as a mentor to the main character, confesses that she cannot fight the main villain because he was the only man she’d ever loved.)

Boyfriend: “Hey, [My Name]? If I ever turn into a psychotic despot who wants to take over and/or destroy the world? You totally have my permission to just… stab me. Directly in the face.”

Me: “That’s ridiculous! I would never do that!” *evil grin* “I’m a poisoner, not a stabber.”

Boyfriend: “Uh, weren’t you just talking yesterday about how I should let you cook for me more often?”

Me: “Yeah, but you’re not a psychotic despot, are you? Don’t worry unless you decide to go evil. Then you get the chicken strips with arsenic dipping sauce.”

Boyfriend: “Arsenic? Don’t be silly! Arsenic is a SLOW poison! Not very good for assassinations. What you really want is STRYCHNINE!”