What’s “Bad Liar” In Asian?

(Two obviously underaged girls walk into my tattoo parlor.)

Girl #1: “We want to get our names in Asian writing.”

Me: “Asian writing, you mean like in kanji? It doesn’t really work that way. You’d have to get someone to translate it as best they can and then bring it in to us.”

Girl #2: “Can’t we just tell you our names and you write them in Asian?”

Me: “No, I’m a tattooer and unfortunately don’t have a second job as a translator. Also, how old are you?”

Girl #1: “I’m… sixteen. You have to be sixteen to get tattooed right?”

Me: “Only if you also have a copy of your ID and parental consent.”

Girl #2: “Uh… we don’t have our IDs. They got stolen. Can’t we just call my mom?”

Me: “No.”

Girl #1: “What if we really promise not to tell?”

Me: “No. ‘Really promise’ doesn’t exactly meet health board requirements.”

Girl #2: “There’s a board for health?”

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