What We Need Is An Idiot Filter

A customer comes in, loudly munching a banana with their mouth open. They are looking at the aquariums and associated equipment.

Banana Eater: “I need new filter stuff.”

Me: “Well, which filter do you have?”

Banana Eater: “I don’t know. Just give me the thingy that goes in it.”

I point to the wall display containing five or six different models of filters and five or six different sizes of each one.

Banana Eater: “Which one do I need?”

Me: “You pick the one that matches the filter you have. You need to know which brand and size it is so you get the right one.”

Banana Eater: “So… you don’t know which one I need?”