What The Frappe?!, Part 2

Customer: “I’d like a venti java chip frappe.”

Me: “We don’t have that, sir. This is a local coffee shop. Were you looking for Starbucks?”

Customer: “You’re a coffee shop, aren’t you?”

Me: “Well, yes?”

Customer: “Then I’d like a venti java chip frappe.”

Me: “Sir, we only have what is on the menu behind me. That item you’re asking for is a Starbucks item.”

Customer: “You’re not getting it. I want my coffee. You’re a coffee shop. What’s so hard to understand?”

My manager comes over after witnessing this exchange and talks to me.

Manager: “Don’t try to fight stupid, [My Name]. It’ll only make you dumber.”

My manager then turns to the customer.

Manager: “Sir, you’re right in that this is a coffee shop. That means we sell coffees. We do not sell chunks of chocolate floating in a mass of ice and flavoring syrups. Pick something off the menu or leave.”

Customer: “You can’t talk to me that way! I’m going to call your corporate!”

Manager: “We don’t have one, but you’re welcome to try.”

The customer then gets his phone out and starts to dial.

Customer: “Yes… is that Starbucks customer service?”

I just stare at my manager, who just stares at me.

Me: “I don’t… I don’t think he gets it yet.”

Customer: *On the phone.* “Yes, it’s your [Street] location!”

Manager: *To me.* “I have things to do. Call me back if he won’t leave.”

Customer: *On the phone.* “What do you mean you don’t have a location there!”

Manager: *To me.* “Although I am tempted to see how this plays out.”

Customer: *On the phone.* “What are you talking about! It’s a coffee place! That means you own it!”

Me: “Oh boy…”

Customer: *On the phone.* “I want to speak to your manager!”

He was on the phone for another ten minutes while I served other customers. He finally hung up, looked at me with the eyes of a man who just realized as an adult that other coffee shops exist other than Starbucks, and walks out with defeat.

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What The Frappe?!