What The Check?!

I work in a call center for a bank. It’s Friday, so almost every call is people checking if their paycheck came in yet and how much it is.

Customer: “I’m calling to see if my check deposited?”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, let me take a look at that for you.”

I check the account.

Me: “It looks like at this time we have not received your check yet.”

Customer: “And why would that be?”

Me: “It could be due to a number of things, like whether your employer has deposited it yet or if they have a hold on it preventing us from crediting the account. The good news is, there appear to be no holds on your account, so it’s likely that your check will deposit by tomorrow morning.”

We process seven days a week.

Customer: “So it’s not there?”

Me: “No, ma’am, but I can say with certainty that it will be in your account sometime tomorrow morning.”

Customer: “If that money is not in my account by 3:00 pm—” *thirty minutes from now* “—I am calling the President of the United States and the attorney general and telling them to arrest you for stealing my money!” *Click*

Neither the president nor the attorney general ever arrested me, so I’m guessing she got her money.