What Sorcery Is This

(My girlfriend is slow to wake up. She is very groggy for a while and is easily confused. She often does and says things she doesn’t remember later. I’m helping her awake.)

Me: “Come on, time to wake up!”

Girlfriend: “No! I’m dead!”

Me: “…what?”

Girlfriend: “I was going to Mordor, and I died.”

Me: “Uh huh. Well, now it’s wake-up time.”

Girlfriend: “STOP PESTERING DEAD PEOPLE!”

(A minute or two passes, and she wakes up a little more. She’s still in bed, muttering as she sits up.)

Girlfriend: “I had the weirdest dream last night. I was Frodo, and I had to bring the ring back to Mordor, but I died.”

(A few more minutes pass. Now she’s completely awake and getting dressed.)

Girlfriend: “I had such a weird dream last night—”

Me: “That you were Frodo?”

(My girlfriend stares at me, shocked and slightly horrified by my psychic powers.)