What IS It With Dads And Shower Length?!

My father was a fairly frugal man, and he and I had the same low-level conflict apparently every teen has with his father: showering too long. Generally, I knew about how long I could shower before drawing his ire.

In my junior year in college, I roomed with my best friend, who happened to have the same first name. A few weeks into the fall semester, we drove to my home for the weekend. My room was in the basement and I normally showered in the second-floor bathroom. (Clarification for any Brits: from bottom to top, it was basement, ground floor, second floor.)

I woke on Saturday after sleeping in and dragged myself up the stairs and into the kitchen. My parents saw me and they looked at me strangely. Then, my mom started laughing and my father turned red.

It turns out that my roommate was getting a shower… and he was taking a very long time. My dad heard the shower going on far longer than I ever would have taken. He went upstairs and hammered on the door and shouted:

Dad: “[My Name], you’ve been in there long enough! Shut it down, NOW!”

He went downstairs just in time to see me come up from the basement. It was then that he realized he had the wrong [My Name] and — no surprise here — my roommate was considerably shocked.