What Is In That Beer And How Do We Get Some?

(I work in a bottle shop in a suburb posh enough to be somewhat isolated. People can be a little uptight around here, so my being naturally chatty and friendly seems to break down some barriers. It has been a slow winter’s night, especially as I’m the only one working. A man walks in as I’m trying to find something to listen to on the radio. He seems stone-cold sober. He walks up to the counter with a pricey bottle of European beer. As I’m ringing him up, I start chatting.)

Me: “Gosh, there’s absolutely nothing on the radio!”

Customer: “Oh, mate, is there ever anything on the TV, either?”

Me: “Not at the moment.”

(I refer to a TV used to advertise specials in the store, currently turned off, thinking that this guy will give some good banter. The joke goes way over his head.)

Customer: “You see, the government, right, they just want to dumb you down like… with what’s on the radio and stuff… like, what they want to do is, like, they can’t go door to door, right?”

(While not as passionate about what he is trying to say, the guy is… interesting, to say the least. He seems pretty eloquent, so I coax more out of him.)

Me: “Like… with what we watch?”

Customer: “Yeah, with, like, what’s on the TV and the radio. They just want to dumb us down. It’s not like they can go door to door dumbing us one by one, so they, like…”

Me: *still weirdly interested* “They, like… target the whole collective?”

Customer: “Yeah, exactly… You have a good night.”

(He walked out of the store. I heard the bottle cap of the expensive beer bottle clink to the ground, and he walked off. I sat dumbfounded for a minute, unsure why exactly the government wants to dumb us down, or how I triggered that exchange.)