What Is His Plan With That Harp String?

, , , , , | Right | September 29, 2018

(I am a woman, and I have long, red hair. A dirty, bedraggled customer, carrying an autoharp in a case that looks to consist entirely of duct tape, approaches me.)

Customer: “Hello. I need a string.”

Me: “Sure! No problem. Which one?”

Customer: *puts autoharp on counter, points out string*

Me: “Great!” *gets string* “Here you are!”

Customer: *as I’m ringing him up* “You have beautiful hair. I’d love to put your head on a pike and carry it around with me.”

Me: *so shocked I can’t think of a single thing to say* “Your total is [total].”

Customer: “It would just be so pretty.”

Me: *finally thinking* “Yeah, I definitely prefer my head attached to my body. Have a nice day.”

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