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What If Cats ARE Aliens?!

, , , , , , , | Healthy | January 21, 2023

In 2019, I wake up in immense pain and decide to see a doctor. When my mom is driving me to urgent care, we talk about the theory that aliens were the ones that built the pyramids.

After urgent care, I’m sent to the ER, put in a room, and given something for pain, a side effect being drowsiness. A family friend comes to bring my mom coffee and see me. She looks at the monitors beside me and remarks that my blood pressure is high.

My mom convinces me to get some rest and says she’ll stay by my side. Soon after, I wake up.

Me: “Hey, Mom?”

Mom: “Yeah, sweetie?” 

Me: *Turning my head to look at her* “Cats built the pyramids.”

Mom: *Pauses* “What?”

Me: “Cats built the pyramids. They started out with tiny blocks and used metal spoons to carve the shape of them, and then they used a ray gun to make them bigger.”

Mom: *Chuckling* “Uh, okay, honey. Go back to sleep.”

She lightly pushes my head so I’m looking back up, and I fall asleep again. Soon after, I wake up again, not knowing a nurse is in the room.

Me: “Mooooom.”

Mom: “Yeah?”

Me: “Did you know that if an animal has high blood pressure when it’s killed, it tastes better?”

I don’t remember this next part, but according to my mom, I yell, “MMM! DEER STEAK!” before conking back out again.

Nurse: *Slowly turning to look at my mom* “Whatever pain medicine they gave her, we’re giving her a different one.”

The medicine they gave me for pain gave me such weird dreams, and whatever happened during the day before influenced them. To this day, if I say that some meat tastes good, my family teases me about those odd dreams. For anyone wondering, I was in pain because of my gallbladder, and it was removed the next day.

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