What Happens When You’re A Jerk In A Small Town

I was about fifteen and went to a popular chain clothing store — the only one in our small town — after school one day with my mom. This particular store’s uniform was famous for being a red polo shirt and khakis. Unfortunately for me, this was also my school’s uniform. However, we had the distinction of having our school logo and motto emblazoned on the back. While we were shopping, a woman approached us.

Woman: “Excuse me? Where do I find batteries?”

Mom: “Oh, we just passed that. I think aisle four?”

Woman: *Angrily* “I was talking to the employee.”

We both looked around, confused. Finally, I realized she meant me and I laughed.

Me: “No, no, sorry, I don’t work here. But we did just see it; I’m sure it was aisle four.”

Woman: *Even angrier* “Don’t lie! That’s very rude! You clearly work here!”

Mom: “Ma’am, this is my daughter and she is in her school uniform. She does not work here.”

I turned so the lady could see the back of my shirt when my mom said this. It should have been clear at this point that I was not an employee, but the lady wasn’t having any of our “trickery.”

Woman: *Aghast* “OH, I SEE! TOO BUSY CHATTING WITH YOUR MOM TO HELP CUSTOMERS! I WANNA SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER!”

Mom: “SHE DOESNT WORK HERE! We just came from school. It’s on the back of her shirt!”

Woman: “They let them wear whatever they want around here! I’m not falling for this! I’ll have you fired for this!”

Mom: “Listen here, you STUPID—”

I cut her off and politely told the woman I’d be happy to help her. I had noticed we were in an aisle that had one of those phones at the end where you could ring for an employee to come to your location, so I picked it up and asked for a manager to come to our aisle. He arrived in less than a minute, with that woman staring daggers at my smiling face the whole time.

Manager: “Hi, how can I help you ladies today?”

The woman started screaming about what happened and how she wanted me fired.

Manager: *To me* “You go to [Local High School]?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Manager: *Sigh* “Every f****** week…”

I burst out laughing and watched as that lady’s face went shock white as she realized (finally!) that I didn’t work there. Mom and I left the aisle and thought that would be the end of it. But it is a small town, so of course, it wasn’t.

I went back to the store three years later to get my first job and the manager remembered me. Apparently, he’d been telling my story for years to new employees as a way to encourage what he called “smart versus good customer service.” He placed me behind the customer service desk, and I had been there about a month when that same lady came up to the desk to be serviced. I could see her staring at me as she waited in line and trying to place me. I watched the color leave her face and the light die in her eyes as she figured it out. When it came to be her turn for service, she let the man behind her go ahead so she could be helped by my coworker. I had to stifle my laughter.