What Do You Mean You Need My Phone Number To Look Up My Phone Number?

Had an older gentleman come in and ask for a carton of cigarettes. We have rewards on the cartons you can get if we can look up your customer account.

Customer: “Can I get these?”

Me: “Sure, did you have a phone number with us?”

Customer: “Yes, it’s in your system.”

Me: “Okay, what’s that phone number?”

Customer: “It’s already in your system.”

Me: “I understand, but I need that phone number to be able to look up your account.”

Customer: “But why, if it’s already in there?”

Me: “I can’t look up your phone number account without knowing your phone number…”

Customer: “Well, I don’t know my phone number; it’s written on the back of my phone.”

He looks for his phone number.

Customer: “I feel like it would be much more efficient to look up my name instead of my phone number.”

Me: “Well, if I looked up your name, it would pop up every person with your name, and I would still need the phone number to distinguish between accounts.”

He had an extremely common first and last name. I ring him out, and he stands there while I ring another customer.

Customer: *To the other customer.* “Back in my day, we didn’t need anything to buy a carton of cigarettes. No ID, no phone number.”

Me: “Well, I didn’t need your phone number, but we have rewards on the cartons. After so many, you’ll get a coupon.”

Customer: “I’ve bought thousands of dollars’ worth of cartons and never gotten a coupon.” 

I know he has, but whatever. The other customer gives me his phone number, and gets his entire purchase at a discount because of the coupons.

Other Customer: “And that’s why you use the phone numbers.”

They both leave. This is how I started my day at 9 AM.