What A Total Witch

(While wandering around the shops I run into my friend. She is looking incredibly nice, with her hair in ringlets and falling over her shoulder. She is also known for having no patience with kids.)

Me: “Wow, look at you all dressed up! You look amazing! I love your hair!”

Friend: “Thanks. I’ve actually had little kids staring at me today.”

Me: “Yeah, because you’re so pretty!”

Friend: “A little girl came up to me and asked me if I was a princess.”

(I get really excited to hear a ‘you can be a princess, too’ story.)

Me: “Yeah? What did you say to her?”

Friend: “I told her I wasn’t.”

Me: “… and?”

Friend: “Nothing. I just said I wasn’t and then walked away.”

Me: “NO! She’s a little kid! You’re supposed to tell her that you are and that she can be one, too! You’ve just crushed all her hopes and dreams!”

Friend: *after a pause* “D***! I should have told her I was a wicked witch. That would have been funny.”