What A Total Blood Bowl

, , , , | Right | March 12, 2019

(I have just sold a large “fishbowl” vase to a customer, who declined to have it wrapped since it would only fit in one of our largest bags. I check out another customer after she leaves, and right after I finish, she comes back in.)

Customer: “Hi. Um, this just broke as I was bringing it to my car. I promise I didn’t drop it! There was a crack in the side, and I pushed on it and…”

(She holds up the vase, which does indeed seem to have simply cracked in place and fallen to pieces. No evidence of being dropped.)

Customer: “Can I just get a replacement with no cracks?”

(We will pretty much never turn down requests like this, so one of the other cashiers goes to get one. I notice a small smudge on the vase. Looking closer, I realize it’s blood!)

Me: “Ma’am, are you bleeding? Did you get cut on the vase?”

Customer: “Oh, a little; it’s fine.”

Me: “We have bandaids back here. I can get one—“

Customer: “Oh, that’s not necessary; it’s not bad.”

(She says this, but now that I’m aware of the problem I notice that she is bleeding quite profusely onto the counter. I offer several more times to give her a bandaid and begin rummaging around in the cabinet for one, while she continues to insist she doesn’t need one. The other cashier comes back with the replacement, and she takes it and leaves with an airy, “Thank you!”)

Me: “Don’t pick up that vase yet; she bled on it.”

Coworker: “WHAT?”

(She had bled on the counter, which dripped down the front of it onto the floor… and of course all over the broken vase, which we threw out carefully. We had just gotten the old beige counters replaced with new white ones, as well!)

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