What A Load Of Guac

(There’s a local spot for some Mexican food. I’ve come home for college for a visit so I’m excited to eat at a decent place. I hear nothing but good things about the establishment, so I place an order to-go over the phone for my family. We order some chips, salsa, guac — which costs $6 — four meals, and two drinks. They say it will be about 45 minutes, so after 45 minutes I take myself and little sister over to pick everything up.)

Me: “Hi, I have an order for [My Name]. Thank you.”

Hostess: “It’s not quite ready yet; it’ll be a few minutes.”

Me: “That’s okay, no worries.”

(Ten minutes pass by, so I ask again. I am told “a few more minutes.” Another fifteen minutes pass.)

Me: “Is the order ready for [My Name]?”

Hostess: “Ten minutes, sorry.”

(I’ve considered abandoning ship, but the order was already paid for over the phone by my stepmom. Twenty more minutes pass by. I’m pretty angry at this point. I usually try to be patient with restaurants because I have worked at several.)

Me: “Is my order ready? Could you please check?”

Hostess: *huffy* “Well, let me just get it!”

(She brings back one plastic grocery bag. It’s incredibly overstuffed, trying to fit five containers of food on top of each other, ultimately being squished. They also squished a styrofoam box of chips on top and double-knotted the handles of the bag. I have to cut the bag with my keys to look at the food. No salsa, no guacamole, and no drinks.)

Me: “There are some missing things. There’s no guacamole or salsa.”

Sister: “And drinks.”

Hostess: *even huffier* “I’ll get it.”

(She brings back a PORCELAIN dish of salsa, literally half a tablespoon of guacamole in a plastic ramekin, and drinks with no ice. I finally snap.)

Me: “This is not worth six dollars, and this isn’t even in a to-go container.”

(The hostess was quiet now. Defeated, she fixed the salsa problem and gave us more guacamole. I decided the drinks were a lost cause. The food was really cold. Likely it was ready a few minutes after we got there, so it all just sat there.)