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What A Dittohead

, , , | Right | CREDIT: Hawkzillaxiii | October 4, 2021

About ten years ago, my friend and I go into an electronics store so he can look at a TV he preordered. I’m wearing a black “Slayer” T-shirt and some jeans. As my friend is waiting in line at customer service, I decide to wander around a bit. I am looking at the fridges, bored, when a man in his mid-forties walks up to me.

Man: “Can you help me buy a stove?”

Me: *Politely* “Oh, I’m sorry. I cannot help you. I don’t work here.”

I go back to just looking at some freezers when I hear the man cough really loudly.

Man: “Hey, boy, I said I need help. Do you want your commission or not?”

Me: “I don’t work here, man.”

I wave my hand around at my shirt.

Man: *Super angry* “How about I go get a manager?”

I have had it with this guy.

Me: “Yeah, go grab him. Maybe he can help you. Your head is so far up your a** that my voice must be muffled; I DON’T WORK HERE! I am not even remotely dressed as an employee, bro!”

He leaves and I wander over to the gaming section. A burly man in a blue [Store] shirt and [Man] come walking over.

Employee: “Umm, is everything okay over here?”

Man: “See? That’s the guy. Not such a tough guy now since I got your boss, huh?”

Employee: “Umm, sir, I’m not his boss. He doesn’t work here. He has a Slayer T-shirt on; that should have been a dead giveaway.”

Man: “But he looks like an employee!”

Employee: “Nope, not even close.”

Man: “Well, what are you going to do for me?!”

Employee: “How about this? I don’t remove you from the store for harassing another customer and you can finish shopping without further trouble. Is that doing something for you?”

The guy glared at me for forever until the employee gave up and asked him to leave.