What A D-Bag

, , | Right | August 21, 2018

(The store where I work gets shoplifted so often that the company reserves the right to check bags, but only when the customers are about to leave. Signs at each entrance warn the customers of this fact. Whether we feel confident enough to do it is an actual question in the interview process, and we’re told to do it in our training. Employees have even been fired for not doing it. Personally, I’m always very polite when I ask customers to show me their bags, to make sure they don’t feel attacked. A customer and his wife go through my line with full bags.)

Me: “Excuse me, sir. Could I check your bags, please?”

Customer: “Pardon?”

Me: *thinking he didn’t hear me* “Could I just see your bags, please?”

(His wife agrees and opens her bag for me to check, but he stays put.)

Customer: “Call the police.”

(I’ve had customers refuse to show me their bags before, and I usually try to politely reason with them. However, I’ve been having a horrible day so far and I’m working open to close, so I’m not in the mood for his attitude.)

Me: “Why? Did you hide something in it?”

Customer: *violently empties his bag on my counter and throws his receipt at me* “You want to see this, too?”

Me: *smiling and polite as ever* “Yes, thank you.”

Customer: *as his wife tries to calm him down* “You can’t do this. It’s illegal.”

Me: *checking his items* “We reserve the right to do so. It’s written at both entrances.”

Customer: “I don’t care. It’s illegal.”

Me: “It’s was part of my training and it’s half of my job.” *handing him his receipt* “All right, you’re good to go.”

Customer: *putting his things away* “Eat s***.”

(His wife gasps.)

Me: *still smiling, but boiling inside* “You, too, sir. Have a good day.”

(He left, followed by his wife who looked very embarrassed. Later on, I thought of better things to reply, but I’m not very good at on-the-spot speeches, so that’s what came out. I was worried I’d get in trouble, but when I told my manager, she said, “Oh, you were told to eat s***, too?” and laughed.)

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