What A Concept(ion)

(After being dumped by my boyfriend on our anniversary, I took it a little hard and gained about 15 lbs from stress eating. This day, I’m in the kitchen with my then-four-year-old son who is just learning the differences in biological genders.)

Son: *pats my tummy* “Mommy, is this where babies come from?”

Me: “Yes, honey, it is.”

Son: “Are you going to have a baby?”

Me: *thinking about health problems that make conception difficult* “Oh, no, honey. I’ve just gained a little weight.” *big hug* “You’re probably the only baby I’ll ever have.”

Son: “Oh… Is that because you’re old and no one wants you and you’re probably going to die alone?”

(Blink. Blink. WTF, kid?)