What A Complete Melon

, , , | Right | March 23, 2018

(I work at a farm during the summer, and I sometimes have to use the cash registers because it’s usually very busy. A man comes into the store with a cart and immediately heads for the cantaloupe display, which is located in the corner of the store. All of a sudden, I hear a loud “THUD.” The customer is picking up each cantaloupe individually and sniffing it, then violently dropping it back into the case.)

Me: *looks over* “Sir, may I ask that you please don’t drop the cantaloupes?”

Customer: “But that’s how you know they’re fresh. If they make a good sound, they’re fresh.”

Me: “Sir, I assure you that the cantaloupes are fresh, and if you drop them, you’ll damage them.”

Customer: “I know what I’m doing! I’m a chef for a very fine restaurant!”

Me: “Just please don’t damage our produce, sir; we don’t have a lot of cantaloupes left.”

(I walk away for a while, and after a few minutes, he comes up to the checkout lane, where my coworker and I are working the cash register.)

Coworker: “Hello, how are you?”

Customer: *mumbles*

Coworker: “Did you find everything okay, sir?”

Customer: “These cantaloupes aren’t fresh!” *picks up a cantaloupe and holds it over the counter, raised high above his head* “Look!”

(He drops it, and it splatters all over the counter, and all over my coworker and I.)

Coworker: “[My Name], would you clean this up, please?”

(As I start to clean up the mess, the man launches into a lecture on how it’s unacceptable that we sell “unripe” cantaloupes. My coworker interrupts him.)

Coworker: “Sir, any cantaloupe will break if you smash it. Now, get out of this store.”

Customer: “NO! I want to see the manager!”

Coworker: “I am the manager. Get out.”

(The customer shuffled out of the store, leaving three cantaloupes behind. All of them were badly bruised and had to be thrown away. My boss’s son decided that he would take the bad cantaloupes and feed them to his chickens, which they greatly enjoyed!)

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