…What?!

(I am on the register, putting a woman’s groceries through.)

Me: “In total, that is [above £100].”

Woman: “Oh, I don’t have that much in cash.”

Me: “Card, then?”

Woman: “No, I don’t trust those card thingies.”

Me: “There’s a cash machine just outside. I can hold your things for you.”

Woman: “No, no. That won’t do.”

Me: “I can suspend the transaction until you can get the money.”

Woman: “No.”

(She then stands looking from me to her watch to the entrance for about five minutes. I try to come up with other solutions for her, but she refuses each one. After enough time, my register logs me out. I start signing back in.)

Woman: “I told you I didn’t want to suspend it!”

Me: “I’m just logging back in. We’ve done nothing for so long that it has kicked me out.”

(She blushes and continues her bizarre ritual. Everyone is confused now, from the other customers and cashiers, to the duty manager on the kiosk. Finally, when she looks to the entrance she jumps and claps her hands together. I look, as well, and see a man, out of breath and red-faced, running up to us.)

Man: “I’ll… pay for that… for you!”

(The woman looked at him like he was a guardian angel. He put his card to the reader, but as the price was over £30, it denies the wireless payment. When he put his card in the reader, the woman whispered something to him and he put the PIN in. Once everything was paid, the man put all the bags into the trolley and the woman literally JUMPED ON HIS BACK and he gave her a piggyback ride while pushing the trolley. He was still out of breath. It’s safe to say everyone was clueless as to what was happening.)