We’ve Read About Stupider Scams

(My partner and I are about to move into a new flat. One of the stores where we will be buying a lot of new homeware has a deal whereby if you load £24, £48, or £95 onto a gift card they will make it up to £25, £50, or £100 for you. I go into the shop to get us a £100 card for £95 and also to purchase some suitcases. I head over to the till with an unloaded gift card and a set of three matching suitcases nested inside one another.)

Me: “Hi, I just want to load £95 onto this card, please, and then use the card to pay for these three suitcases.”

Cashier: “Wait, there are three cases there.”

Me: “There are; I’ve just put them inside one another to make them easier to carry.”

Cashier: “Well, how do I know you’re not trying to steal them?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Cashier: “How do I know you aren’t trying to steal them, putting them one inside the other?”

(I think she’s joking.)

Me: “Well, you know, sadly, I have one too few hands not to.”

Cashier: “You’re lucky I don’t call security, you know. How do I know you aren’t trying to steal them?”

Me: *pretty angry* “Well, your first clue should have been the fact that I told you before you scanned anything and before I’d even passed them up to you that there were three there, which there are!”

Cashier: “Well, I can’t scan them all when they’re like that, can I?”

(The cashier makes a huge show of opening the first two to scan the codes on the lid of those inside.)

Cashier: “Right, £48.”

Me: “And I’d like to load £95 onto this gift card and pay with that, please.”

Cashier: “Fine, £143.”

Me: “No, I’d like to pay for the gift card first and then use the gift card to pay for the suitcases.”

Cashier: “You can’t do that!”

Me: “Why not? We just want to take advantage of the £5 extra free.”

Cashier: “Well, it doesn’t work like that. How do I know you aren’t trying to scam us?”

Me: “Let me get this straight. You think I’m trying to scam you by taking advantage of an offer that you have advertised in every one of your stores and online, and that I’m trying to steal some suitcases that I told you I had three of right from the start? You know what? We’re done here. I’d like a manager, please.”

(A manager came out and asked what was going on. The cashier explained the situation first. The manager turned to look at me and my three suitcases and processes the transaction as I’d asked in the first place. Then, the manager gave me an extra discount for the trouble. The cashier just stood there staring at me in disgust, almost as if I’d grown that third arm or something!)