We’ve Been Ovary This Already

(My 17-year-old pregnant friend and I are chatting.)

Me: “When my mom was pregnant with me one of her ovaries burst.”

Girl: “How did she survive?!”

Me: “Well,  they had to take her into surgery and get it out. And they had to be careful ‘cause, you know, they could have killed me.”

Girl: “But that happened to my friend’s uncle and he didn’t make it.”

Me: “…Your friend’s uncle’s ovary burst?”

Girl: “Yeah.”

Me: “Your friend’s UNCLE’S ovary burst?!”

Girl: “Yeah!”

Me: *pinches the bridge of my nose and takes a deep breath* “Okay. You’re pregnant. You DO realize only women have ovaries, don’t you?”

Girl: “I thought women had tubes.”

Me: “What do you think they’re connected to?”