We’re Sure Rover Appreciates That

I’m performing a client tax interview. The clients are a middle-aged woman and her equally middle-aged husband. They have two children who are in college and are not along with them today. I need birthdates to finalize taxes.

I ask the clients when the wife’s birthday is. She opens her mouth to answer, but the husband speaks first.

Husband: “I don’t know.”

His wife sighs.

Me: “Okay. When’s your birthday?”

Husband: “I don’t remember.”

I sigh.

Me: “How about your children’s birthdays?”

Husband: “I don’t recall those, either.”

Me: “Do… do you know anyone’s birthday?”

Husband: *Proudly* “I know my dog’s birthday!”

His wife snorted like she was trying to repress a laugh and then handed me a sheet on which she’d written everyone’s birthdays… except the dog’s.