We’re Gonna Get A Lot Of Mileage Out Of That One

Some friends and I are at another friend’s place. We’re discussing some recently canceled celebrities and famous people, as well as certain politicians as we’ve just had a presidential election.

Friend #1: “Oh, yeah, [Politician] is a total s***bag.”

Friend #2: “Try not to use that language; my mom is home, and she doesn’t like it when my friends swear.”

Friend #1: “Sorry. How about… [Politician] is a total, uh… colostomy bag?”

Friend #2: “Yeah, that works.”

Friend #3: “Actually, it doesn’t work. A colostomy bag is useful.”