We’re Bag-eling You To Just Accept The Bagels

I just heard this story from my dad and little sister about my grandmother. Grandma is awesome because she is absolutely a b****; she takes no flak from anyone. My dad talks to her once a week (excluding the time she found out he voted “wrong”) and they have a pretty close relationship.

Apparently, Grandma has mentioned she can’t find any of a specific kind of bagel at the store. Dad, trying to do something nice, decides to order some from [Big Company] and waits for the surprise to be delivered. Every day he checks and they say the order is shipping but it never gets delivered.

Finally, after a month, he decides the bagels can’t be any good by now and to cancel the order. He gets told that they can’t find or deliver his order, they won’t send a replacement, and he won’t be getting a refund. Naturally, he’s pretty upset about it, but after gaining no headway on a solution, he asks my younger sister to help him out.

She does, and after a month and a half, Dad has his refund, but our poor grandma is still without her bagels! [Sister] decides she can just order them from a local shop to be delivered and, with Dad’s blessing, finally gets eighteen bagels delivered to our grandma!

End of story? Nah, that’d be too boring. First off, they were delivered while Grandma wasn’t home, though she got there not long after them.

Grandma: *To Dad* “I almost got ants from those bagels sitting outside! What would you have done if they’d gotten ants in them?!”

Dad: “Uh, thrown them out?”

Grandma: “And four were burnt! Burnt! What place sends four burnt bagels?!”

Dad: “Well, I’m sure they’ll be happy to exchange them.”

Grandma: “I’m not wasting my time or gas going all the way out there! How dare they send me burnt ones?!”

At this point, Dad is already thinking, “Lady! You got fourteen free bagels! Live with it!” He instead tells her:

Dad: “Well, you know [Sister] doesn’t know the area. I guess she thought they were closer than they are.”

Grandma: “Oh, [Sister] sent them? Oh, okay.”

They end the conversation. Grandma calls my sister up.

Grandma: “Hey, I know you thought sending bagels for your father was a good idea but next time, don’t. Just don’t.” 

Dad: *To us* “At least she’s nicer to her grandkids.”