Well, Tickle Me Dead

, , , , , , | Friendly | November 8, 2017

(I’m playing some improv D&D in a club, which means there aren’t levels or anything and you make up your equipment. Our group is fighting two enemies as a boss fight. One of them is incredibly strong and can knock anyone out with a single punch, and the other has a ray gun which knocks anyone out but needs to charge. I’m next to the guy with a ray gun and I’m without a weapon.)

Dungeon Master: “[Guy With Ray Gun]’s turn. He charges up his gun.”

Friend #1: “Okay. I try to shoot him in the face, then take the ray gun from him and aim it at him.”

(He rolls a 19.)

Dungeon Master: “You succeed in shooting him in the face. He screams in pain and drops the ray gun, and you dart over and pick it up, charging it to aim at him. [My Name], your turn.”

Me: “Uh, what’s [Guy With Ray Gun] doing right now?”

Dungeon Master: “He is trying to pull the arrow out of his face.”

Me: “I don’t have a weapon, so I can’t directly attack him, and since he doesn’t understand our language, I can’t talk to him, correct?”

Dungeon Master: “I mean, you could try to attack him with your bare fists, but…”

Me: “Okay, I try to tickle him in the armpits, to distract him and hopefully incapacitate him with laughter, so [Friend #1] can hit him next turn.”

(I roll a seven; it’s not a very good roll considering [Guy With Ray Gun] is using a thirty sided die.)

Dungeon Master: *rolls* “Um, I guess that works. You tickle him. He stands there unfazed, and then suddenly drops to the ground, dead.”

(The entire group burst out in laughter. Apparently the arrow had almost killed him and he rolled a one. The strong guy spent the rest of the game focusing all his attacks on me, so I nearly died and never got another turn, but we won, so all’s well that ends well!)

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