Well, That Was An Unmusical Disaster

A client commissioned me to direct a commercial for a clothing line and then asked me to write a concept because they couldn’t afford a copywriter. I submitted a concept about a girl and a piano. Two months went by and I didn’t hear a word about the commercial.

Then, I got this phone call.

Client: “You’re shooting your commercial in two days. We got you a model for the shoot.”

Me: “Two days? The boards aren’t even made.”

Client: “You make them.”

Me: “Okay. Can the model play the piano? Half the commercial is her playing the piano.”

Client: “No, she’s a model.”

Me: “But is she a model who can play the piano?”

Client: “No.”

Me: “You’re saying that our commercial, which involves a girl playing a piano, has a girl who can’t play the piano?”

Client: “You can fake it to music in post.”

Me: “What music? I haven’t had time to pick any music.”

Client: “I’ll pick the music after the shoot.”

Me: “We need to know what music we’re using if she’s going to mimic it.”

Client: “No, it’ll be fine, she doesn’t. You said you needed a piano, right?”

Me: “For the piano playing, yes. It’s all on the list. HR has a copy.”

Client: “Okay, I’ll book it. Anything else I need to book? I got you two cars.”

Me: “What about the car mount?”

Client: “Wait, do you want the car mount or the cars? Make up your mind.”

Me: “Why would I want a car mount without a car? Both. I still need to approve the girl, the wardrobe, props, etc.”

Client: “I’ll do it; you don’t need to know about it. I’ll see what I can change on the list.”

Me: “When are we shooting this?”

Client: “Friday. Shut up for a second.”

He puts me on hold. Five minutes later…

Me: “So, you’re saying that nothing is ready for the shoot that’s in less than thirty-six hours?”

Client: “That’s none of your business. Just shoot it. We’ve got a good location. You’ll see it on Friday.”

He hung up.

Thursday afternoon, I learnt that nothing had actually been booked, including the model and location. Thursday night, the shoot was cancelled.