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We’ll Stretch Your Muscles And Offend You At The Same Time

, , , , | Right | April 8, 2020

(My brother-in-law has always been a few playing cards short of a full checkerboard, but this one is a real stumper. I am visiting him after he has been out raking leaves most of the day. He is complaining about having sore muscles. I suggest a therapeutic massage. He isn’t so sure about that, stating that he is happily married and doesn’t need “that.” I convince him that a therapeutic massage is not “that” kind of massage, look up some close ones on my phone, and suggest he call for an appointment. He is a little hard of hearing so he always uses the speakerphone option, so I hear the whole conversation.)

Employee: “Hello, this is [Massage Business]. May I help you?”

Brother-In-Law: “Yeah, I got some sore muscles and I was told you folks can help out with that?”

Employee: “Certainly, sir. Are you a returning patient, or a new patient?”

Brother-In-Law: “Oh, I ain’t never been in one of your kind of places before, but I was told you would make my sore muscles feel better, so I guess I should make an appointment with one of your massagenists.”

Employee: *pause* “Uh, sir, our practitioners are referred to as massage therapists; would you like to make an appointment?”

Me: *stifling my laugh, having to leave the room*

(My brother-in-law did make an appointment, which did make him feel much better; however, I doubt that it was with a misogynist as he requested.)

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