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Well, SOMEONE Is Gonna Learn A Lesson

, , , , , | Working | September 13, 2021

I am a new employee at the craft store where I am supposed to be a stock person. Like every company I’ve ever worked at, I have to read the “newbie” stuff that summarizes safety and company expectations. It is on a computer, so the manager sets it up for me and leaves me to read it.

I start on the first “lesson” and am treated to a massive page of information in small font, most of which looks like legal jargon on laws involving my range of authority.

Me: “[Manager], I think you gave me the wrong lesson.”

Manager: “I gave you the same lesson that everybody else is required to read, [My Name]. Just read it.”

Me: “No, I really think you gave me the wrong—”

Manager: “Stop arguing with me and read it! You have an hour, which is plenty of time!”

Me: “…”

I do my best, but I’m struggling. While I am proud to admit that I can read quite well, this massive pile of text is nothing short of legalese usually found in the small print explaining how a company is in no way responsible for your stereo opening a portal to an Eldritch plane of existence.

I fail to complete even the first “lesson,” get an earful from my manager, and then get chewed out AGAIN trying to explain that I really do seem to have the wrong lesson.

I am given a second hour the following week in an attempt to complete the lessons, and again I fail to complete even the first one.

Finally, the store manager pulls me into his office.

Store Manager: “[My Name], it really is ridiculous that you’re so far behind in your lessons. It shouldn’t even take you fifteen minutes to go through the first one. They’re not complicated, and you really need to read faster than that.”

Me: *Frustrated* “[Store Manager], I can read a Harry Potter book in less than a day. The lessons [Manager] gave me are nothing but complicated legalese and jargon.”

The store manager frowns and goes to bring up what I’ve been reading on my little online account and his jaw drops.

Store Manager: “This is what she gave you?!”

Me: “Yes.”

Store Manager: “These are definitely the wrong lessons! This is information that a store manager is required to know in order to avoid breaking the law while running the store! This takes months and several very expensive company classes to complete! Did you tell [Manager] that she gave you the wrong lesson?!”

Me: “Several times. She kept interrupting me and telling me to stop arguing and that my lesson was the same as everyone else’s.”

Store Manager: “I’m very sorry about this. Let me give you the actual lessons.”

The actual lessons involved a slide show about knowing where the fire extinguishers are and common-sense advice for things a regular employee would need to know about safety. I finished it in fifteen minutes.

This incident was just the first of many such encounters with [Manager] until I finally quit that job.

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