We’ll Have A Toast Upon Your Departure

(I work at a diner. During the Saturday lunch rush, a customer in her 60s is wheeled in with her friend, though by her behaviour she acts more like a six-year-old. Right off the bat, I know she’s going to be trouble when I try to introduce myself and she just cuts me off by demanding coffee. The real trouble starts after I bring her meal. The second she sees her toast, she flips. She throws a tantrum about it being too toasted, so I assure her I’ll bring it back to the kitchen. Then, she throws a tantrum about it being too light, so I take it back again. Then, she complains about her meal getting cold because of all this, how this is the worst meal of her entire life, and how she’s never coming back here ever again. By the time she pays, I’m so sick of this woman, but I still try to be friendly.)

Me: “Have a nice day, ma’am.”

Customer: “I will.” *shoots me a smug look like she’s going to one-up me* “Once I’m out of here!”

Me: *with my best customer service smile on my face* “Me, too, ma’am. Me, too!”