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We’ll Find Harmony And Balance After You Leave

, , , | Right | September 18, 2021

A while ago, we were trying to sell our home. I was working at home at that point, so I would go out when the agent had a viewing and come back afterward. Despite a lot of time wasters, things were going okay. A few low offers and plenty of interest.

The weirdest thing was that after one viewing, I started to notice that things were out of place. Knives were facing different ways, picture frames and candles were swapped around, and a small standing mirror was moved.

I thought it might have been the estate agent, maybe tidying up, although it didn’t look any better and he never did it before any of the other viewings. But it wasn’t a big deal and was easily fixed, so I never thought of it again.

A while later, there was a knock on the door. I answered it to find a middle-aged woman.

Woman: “Oh, hello. I am following up about the card I put through your door.”

Me: “I’m sorry, remind me what it was. I might have missed it.”

Woman: *Huffy already* “It was a card — a small yellow card about feng shui.”

I seem to recall throwing that straight into the bin.

Me: “Oh, yes, I recall. How is it I can help?”

Woman: “I came round the other week and noticed that your whole house was wrong. The energy was all wrong. It’s probably why it hasn’t sold.”

It took me a while to connect the dots.

Me: “Oh, you are interested in buying the house?”

Woman: “What? No! I’m a professional feng shui consultant. I help people to achieve harmony and balance.”

Me: “No, thank you.”

I shut the door as she was still arguing that I would “never sell the house,” and I let the estate agent know not to let her come round again.

A few weeks later, he told me that he had to ban her, as after I complained it made sense.  She was asking to view pretty much every house nearby, never made an offer, and never viewed a house twice, and her budget seemed to change weekly.

He let the other estate agents know to ban her, as well. It’s one thing to put the card through the door — completely another to waste everyone’s time!