Weird Pillow Talk

(While I am on vacation, my mom rearranges some of my room and buys me all new pillows. After coming home from the airport, I head to my room to nap before work. One of the new pillows is a body pillow made of really soft mink, and I grab it to move it so I can get into bed.)

Me: *gasps loudly, clutching the pillow*

Mom: “What is it?”

Me: *hugging it and looking her dead in the eye* “I was going to say that I want to rub this all over my body. And then I realized that I can!”

(She was still laughing when I went to bed. That’s the last time I get six hours sleep in two days.)