Weeding Out The Japanese Sport Car Enthusiasts

, , , | Legal | January 22, 2020

(I’m the person in the story “Best… Seizure… Ever”. A few years before that, I accumulate a bit of “bachelors’ disposable income” and decide to treat myself to a new used car. Due to personal interests, I set my sights on a Japanese import sportscar. I find a dealership in the Netherlands that imports this sort of car. I make a trip there to check out their stock, choose one of their cars, and leave a down payment. They take care of the import paperwork and registration, I convince my roommate at the time to drive me there two weeks later to pick up the car. We drive past the border and notice two police cars that are marked “Customs”.)

Roommate: “Do you think they will pull us over on the way back?”

Me: “I’ll have all the import paperwork including the customs payment, so even if they do, we’ll be good.”

(We get to the dealership and I pay the remaining price, sort out the paperwork, and put temporary plates on the car; it takes us maybe 30 minutes. We drive back over the border and, lo and behold, five kilometers behind the border, I see blue lights in my rearview and the customs officers pull us over. After the pleasantries are exchanged:)

Customs Officer #1: “Do you know why we pulled you over?”

Me: “Because you have to make sure I paid customs on an imported car?”

CO #1: “What? No. Get out of the car and open the boot!”

(I do as I’m told, and I notice the officer in the second car is doing the same to my roommate in his car.)

CO #1: “Stand over to the side and don’t do anything stupid!”

Me: “Look, we just bought a car; I have all the paperwork right here.”

CO #1: “Yeah, right, you bought a ‘car’! Stand over there and shut up!”

(By this point, I’m pissed off by his rudeness but can’t do anything about it. I shoot my roommate a look to the tune of “WTF, dude?,” and [CO #1] starts searching the empty boot, just like [CO #2] is doing on my roommate’s car. After five minutes of not finding anything:)

CO #1: “Open the hood!”

(I get in the car and pop the hood release, and then open the hood up. The sound of the release makes [CO #2] look up and make his first focused observation of my car. His face immediately lights up and he comes over to my car.)

CO #2: “Is that a [Japanese import]?”

Me: “Yes, we bought it literally an hour ago.”

CO #1: *grumbles to himself while searching the engine bay*

CO #2: “Oh, that’s cool! [CO #1], be careful with that Turbo; don’t burn yourself!”

CO #1: “The what now? I’m sure they have it somewhere!”

CO #2: “[CO #1], can I talk to you for a second?”

(They walk back to one of their cars. I can see both of them gesturing, with [CO #1]’s face getting redder as they speak. After a while, [CO #2] comes back to us.)

CO #2: “You’re good to go. He thought you guys were smuggling weed because you fit our description of a wanted gang. Can I see that import paperwork for a second?”

(I show him.) 

CO #2: “Yeah, it is all legit.”

(He keeps asking me a few questions about the specs of the car, and it becomes clear he is an enthusiast. As we part ways:)

CO #2: “Please don’t crash it on the way home. Drive safe!”

Me: “Thanks a lot! I won’t!”

(He leaves.)

Roommate: “Wait, if we are a drug trafficking gang, where is my share?”

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