Weeding Out The Dumb Ones
(I take calls about various do-it-yourself products for lawn and garden and insect control.)
Me: “How can I help you?”
Customer: “Your product is defective!”
Me: “Okay, what product?”
Customer: “[Brand name] weed and grass killer!”
Me: “Okay, what is the problem?”
Customer: “It killed my grass!”
Me: “Um, it is weed and grass killer.”
Customer: “Yes, but it doesn’t say good grass!”
Me: “You’re right. However, grass covers all grass types.”
Customer: “Well, it should say on the label it kills good grass.”
Me: “Actually, it does on the back. It lists all the grasses it kills, and your grass is listed.”
Customer: “Well, it should tell you to read the label before use!”
Me: “Actually, it does. See that stop sign on the back?”
Customer: “Yes!”
Me: “And right after, it says read entire label before use.”
Customer: “Well, it should say it on the front so I can see it!”
Me: “I’ll put your request into corporate…”