Weeding Out The Dumb Ones

(We are a fair trade store and, as such, sell items such as incense and incense burners. We are sometimes mistaken for a “head shop”. We also rent kayaks in the summer.)

Customer: *looking over his shoulder a few times* “Where is your ‘special merchandise?'”

Me: “Sir?”

Customer: “You know…” *winks* “…your ‘back room stuff.'”

Me: “Sir, we don’t have anything in a back room. All of our stock is out on the floor.”

Customer: *pointing to the kayak storage room* “Then, what’s in there?”

Me: “That’s our kayak room.”

Customer: *knowing look* “Oh… your ‘kayak room’. Can I see your ‘kayak room?'”

Me: “Sure!”

(He walks back, opens the door, walks in. I can hear him moving things around for a few minutes before he returns with a confused look on his face.)

Customer: “There’s kayaks in there!”

Me: “Yep.”

Customer: “Where’s the weed?”

Me: “Bye, now!”