We Wish The Racists Would Find Another Buzzword

I work in a grocery store that happens to have a very visually diverse workforce. This conversation was overheard while I was working at a checkout.

Man #1: “Ugh. This f****** place.”

Man #2: “Seriously. What the h*** are they doing with all these DEI hires?”

Woman: “I know, right? It’s bulls*** that they’re only hiring the best-qualified people.”

Man #1 and #2: “Huh!?”

Woman: “Used to be, I could put on a tight top and a short skirt and my best smile, and they’d be like, ‘When can you start?” But then they started doing this DEI thing, and all of a sudden the higher-ups are like, “Why did you pick this chick when that guy’s way more qualified?” And for some reason, “Look at her!” stopped being a good answer.”

Man #2: “You mean—”

Man #1: “That’s not what we’re—”

Woman: “Oh? Well, if you don’t want them to go back to hiring people based on what they look like, then what’s wrong with DEI hires?”

The men fell quiet and checked out in silence.