We Should Totally Just Stab Caesar! (Salad)

(My grandmother is incredibly stubborn and refuses to listen. She is also in serious debt because she has proven time and again that she cannot handle her money. She had to move in with us because she ended up filing for bankruptcy. Money is also tight for us at the moment, so we rarely splurge on things like eating out. This happens at dinner one night.)

Grandma: “You know what I want for dinner sometime? I want you to go to [Italian Restaurant] and get a big thing of their salad and bring it home.”

Me: “Just the salad?”

Grandma: “Yes.”

Me: “And what would the rest of dinner be?”

Grandma: “What’s wrong with salad?”

Me: “Nothing, it just doesn’t fill me up.”

Mom: “I can buy a Caesar salad kit and some [Italian Restaurant] dressing at the store for you when I go shopping. Actually, I might have some here.” *gets up to look*

Grandma: “No, I want the salad from [Italian Restaurant]!”

Dad: “Mom, [Italian Restaurant] is all the way on the other side of town. We are nowhere near [Italian Restaurant].”

Grandma: “How far away is it?”

Dad: “Half an hour to forty-five minutes, depending on the time of day and how you hit the lights.”

Grandma: “No, it’s not.”

Dad: “Yes, it is! A lot has changed since you left the area twenty years ago! Besides, [Italian Restaurant] is really expensive and there’s nothing worth getting there.”

(My dad only says this because he hates Italian food.)

Mom: *returning with dressing* “Look, [Grandma], I have the dressing. I will buy a Caesar salad for you and you can put this on.”

Grandma: “No. I want a salad from [Italian Restaurant]. I’ll pay for it myself.”

Dad: “With what money?”

Grandma: “My money.”

Dad: “You don’t have any money!”

Me: “If you really want to go to an Italian restaurant, we can go to [Local Independent Italian Restaurant]. It’s just as good as [Italian Restaurant], but it’s only ten minutes away.”

Grandma: “No! I want salad from [Italian Restaurant]! It’s the best!”

(My parents told her no several more times. She ended up pouting in her room the rest of the night and all of the next day.)