We Saw This Coming From So Far Away It Might As Well Have Been Signposted

The supermarket I frequent has recently had self-checkout installed. They put up signs announcing this. Large ones. Square-meter-sized ones. Not kidding.

Sign: “Self-Checkout is Debit or Credit Card Only! No Cash!”

And I mean sign-s.

Plural.

In neon-bright colors. You’d go down the aisle towards the checkouts, and there’s one every other meter. Next to you, overhead, you even have to dodge one on the way to the self-service checkout. 

Now, I’m no big fan of self-service checkouts, and I think that cashiers should have a job, so I shun these “work-while-you-shop-with-us” machines, queue up at the non-self-service checkout (like most people, by the way) and strike up a conversation with the checkout clerk while they’re scanning my items.

Me: “You think that’s enough signs?”

Cashier: *Deadpan.* “Not by a long shot.”

Me: “Oh, please. You’re overdoing it.”

Cashier: “Wanna bet? It won’t take fifteen minutes until someone complains about the self-service not taking cash.”

I laugh, drop ten Euros with a “you’re on” and stand by. The clerk is not even done scanning my items before someone yells:

Customer: “Hey! Where do I put the bills in this thing?”

The cashier turns to me with a smile and asks:

Cashier: “Wanna pay card or cash, sir?” *Louder.* “Here, you actually can choose, unlike our self-checkout, which is card only!”

I pay cash. He didn’t want to take my bet money, but if I bet, I bet. And I pay. Especially people who have to deal with idiots, they can’t be paid enough to endure that. He more than earned that tenner.