We Need Insurance Against Horrible People

A friend has been complaining about getting too many phone calls from an insurance company, even though he has refused their services many times. He receives yet another call.

Friend: “Hello.”

Caller: “Hello, this is [Caller] from [Insurance Company]. I’m calling to let you know about our new life insurance package—”

Friend: “No, thanks. I really don’t need life insurance right now.”

Caller: “How come? Everyone needs life insurance!”

Friend: *Without missing a beat* “Yes, but you see, I’ve been diagnosed with a terminal disease, so I don’t have much longer.”

Caller: *Taken aback* “Oh, my God, that’s terrible. I’m so, so sorry, we didn’t know.”

Friend: “Yeah, no, it’s okay, don’t worry. My family and I have already sorted out the insurance thing and all the paperwork, so I really don’t need what you’re offering me.”

Caller: “Yes, of course, of course. Look, I’m really sorry to bother you in a time like this. I’ll personally take you out of the list so you won’t be called again.”

Friend: “Thanks, I really appreciate it.”

Caller: “Oh, it’s nothing. Again, I’m very sorry. Please take care.”

Friend: “Okay, thanks.” *Hangs up, then turns to me* “I shouldn’t have made that up… I’m a horrible person.”