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We Love Dogs, But Uh… Yikes

, , , | Right | May 26, 2022

Our now extinct bookstore used to have these big black mesh shopping bags that customers could use to carry large purchases. They had the store name on the sides and a little tag saying, “Made In [Country].” None of them had price tags. Most of them were shop-worn. And we had to intervene a number of times when owners of yappy little dogs tried roaming the store with their precious little pee bags stuffed inside. No, lady, mesh bags do NOT conceal your snarling, yapping, squirming little “angel.”

Lady: “What do you mean, he can’t come inside?! It’s 100 degrees out!”

Manager: “Ma’am, we handle food in our café, and it is unsanitary to have any animal in the store.”

Lady: “I don’t plan on going into the café! I don’t understand why my dog is banned if it doesn’t go anywhere near the food!”

Manager: “Because whether you go into the café or not, it’s part of the store and therefore the ban on animals extends to the rest of the building.”

Lady: “Well then, he’s a service animal, and therefore it’s illegal to refuse him entry! So there!”

Manager: “I doubt that very much considering how misbehaved he’s been so far.”

A little girl passes by, minding her own business and aiming for some point past the scene. She is not running, screaming in a shrill voice, or taking any notice at all of the situation, but instead she is calmly rummaging through her small plastic purse to see if she can afford her selection.

It is at this point that the dog takes exception to the situation and launches itself half out of the black mesh carry bag, yapping and snarling and snapping violently at the very startled little girl, who begins crying.

Manager: “Ma’am, please control your dog and remove it from the premises.”

Lady: “HOW DARE YOU?!”

She catches the dog before it wiggles free of the bag to have a go at the child.

Lady: “You provoked my precious, sweet little Muffin, didn’t you?”

A fellow employee intercedes and gently pries the terrified, sobbing girl away from the shelf that she’s backed up against, risking being bitten by the little beast in an effort to put some distance between her and the situation.

Manager: “Ma’am, that girl was just walking by. Your dog is the aggressor. I suggest you remove that animal before we report it as being vicious for its unprovoked attack.”

The dog stops snarling and snapping and settles for incessant, shrill yapping.

Lady: “F*** you!” *Bark! Bark! Bark!* “My precious little—” *Yap! Yap! Yap!* “—Muffin is the—” *Bark! Bark!* “—spirit of gentility! That little b****—” *Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap!* “—provoked him somehow!”

Ironically, security escorted her off the premises, not because we called them, but because the dog’s shrill incessant yapping could be heard OUTSIDE by the passing security guard, who was well aware of our no-dogs policy.

The little girl was ultimately all right and we managed to calm her down with a cup of hot chocolate from the café (on the house). I can only imagine that the dog would have become a bony little football if Momma Bear had come onto the scene during the situation.

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Tell us about a customer that lied or scammed to get what they wanted.

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