We Just Hope They Kept A Safe Distance From Their Own Stupidity

Legally, in the Netherlands, you’re allowed to set off fireworks from midnight on December 31st through January 7th or something. In practice, some buttfaces will start blowing their money on firecrackers as early as November, but anyway….

On December 31st, my mother and I were chilling on the living room couch on the first floor of our home when we heard a momentous BOOM that made both of us leap a foot into the air in fright. We glanced around, at first figuring it must have been close to be so loud, but we couldn’t see anything, so we figured somebody must have had illegal fireworks or something.

My mother called the non-emergency police line and something like:

Mother: “Hey, something’s super not right here. This was no ordinary fireworks. Could you send someone over to check?”

And the policeman on the other end of the line gave her the most disinterested reply.

Policeman: “Well, little lady, it’s New Year’s Eve, fireworks are allowed.”

My mother was so disgusted that she just hung up.

We didn’t think about the kaboom anymore until the next day when we happened to be checking the news and read about an explosion on our fudging street. The house down the block was empty, and some kids had decided to try and blow the door off its hinges using a ton of illegal fireworks.

Needless to say, my mother felt vindicated — but none too pleased with Officer Lazy over on the non-emergency line.