We Hope They Bought Him Back Some Fries, You Fools!

My local team of coworkers is gathered around a booth in a restaurant for a lunch break (we got a special two-hour lunch for a coworker’s retirement). One coworker’s phone buzzes. On the screen: “Incoming Call – Gandalf.”

The coworker takes the call, talking about something like a password reset. When they hang up, everyone is staring at them expectantly. 

Coworker #2: “Why is there a ‘Gandalf’ on your phone?”

Coworker: “That’s tech support.”

Coworker #2: “That doesn’t answer the question.”

Coworker: “Because he’s wise, and when I forget my password, he helps me find my way. Without him? I do not pass.”

A few of us laugh.

Coworker #3: “Do you give everyone Hobbit nicknames?”

Coworker: “Not Hobbit. Middle Earth.”

Coworker #4: “Alright then, who am I?”

Coworker: “You’re Merry. You never turn down a pint at happy hour.”

Coworker #2: “And me?”

Coworker: “Éowyn. You’re the only lady manager, and every time [Company] sends the all-male senior management team to [Trade Convention], you’re the only brave enough to ride into that misogyny battle!”

Coworker #1: “Wait… is there a Sauron?”

Coworker: “The CEO. We never see him, but his dark will shapes everything. At least, that’s what he’d be if I had his number, but I only have his secretary’s number. She’s the ‘Mouth of Sauron.'”

Everyone is enjoying the conversation when suddenly the phone buzzes again. On the screen: “Balrog.” [Coworker] sighs and takes the call. After, they stand up and address the table.

Coworker: “[Office Manager] needs me to help them convert to PDF again, and Gandalf just went to lunch…”