We Have Bigger Fish To Fry

, , , | Right | April 4, 2020

(I work at a crab shack. I answer the phone:)

Me: “Hello, [Business] Seafood; how can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi. A few weeks ago I bought eight pounds of your steamed shrimp, and I feel there were a lot of smalls.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry about that. What size shrimp did you order?”

Customer: “I got the medium shrimp. But they were all smalls.”

Me: “Well, sir, we don’t sell ‘small’ shrimp. We buy them prepackaged and sorted by a company in the Gulf of Mexico. The medium shrimp we use are labeled 36 to 42 in a pound.”

Customer: “They were all very small, though. You gave me smalls.”

Me: “Sir, we don’t sell smalls. They come prepackaged—”

Customer: “Well, I guess I won’t be buying shrimp from you guys ever again.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir? Why did you wait weeks to call us about this?”

(All I hear is a click. All right, then.)

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