We Eat People Like You For Breakfast, Part 2

I am sixteen and have just started working as a server at a breakfast-themed restaurant. I’m still learning the menu. A man in his mid-twenties seats himself in my section while I’m cleaning a table, so I go to the back and wash my hands and go out to his table.

Me: “Hi, my name is [My Name] and I’ll be your server today! I’m sorry about the wait. We usually seat people ourselves. What can I start you off with?”

Customer: “I need a glass of water because you keep it hot inside.”

Me: “All right, and can I get your food order, as well?”

Customer: “How the f*** can I do that when I didn’t get a menu?!”

Me: “Sir, we usually give them when we seat someone, but you seated yourself. I can bring one out with your water.”

Customer: “I guess that works.”

I go to the back and ask another server to take that table, as I’m sure he will give me problems, but they refuse.

Me: “Here is a cold water and the menu. I’ll be back in a moment to get the order.”

Customer: “Can’t you take it now? I’ve been here for ten minutes.”

Me: “Yes, sir. What can I get you?”

Customer: “Umm, does the turkey dinner come with garlic bread?”

Me: “No, sir, we do not serve garlic bread, but we do offer oth—”

Customer: “Yes, you f****** do! The [Same Restaurant Chain] in [Town a few states away] serves it every time!”

Me: “Sir, we do not serve that here. We may have before, but on these new menus, we do not.”

Customer: “I bet it’s because you have those illegals working in the back.”

Me: “Can I finish taking your order?”

Customer: “Yeah, get me pancakes and steak.”

Me: “All right, anything else?”

Customer: “The garlic bread.”

Me: “We do not have that here.”

Customer: “Stop lying to me, you dumb b****.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t serve that.”

Customer: “Fine, get me just that, and make it right.”

Me: “I just put in the orders, but I’ll make sure the cook knows.”

When I bring out his food, he is on the phone, so I just set it on the table and walk away. I’m watching to see if he needs anything, and I see him take the lids off of all four syrups on the table and dump them all over his plate, table, and seats. He then tells the person on the phone that I’m lazy and a bad server.

Me: “Sir, can I get you anything, like a wet rag?”

Customer: “It’s not my job to clean it. Turn down the heat. And you didn’t bring me the right drink. I never got my d*** bread. Why did they even hire a stupid high school girl to work?”

I am fed up at this point.

Me: “Sir, you asked for water and I brought it for you. I am not allowed to touch the heater; only the managers can. I was hired because I’m a hard worker. I’m apparently smarter than you, because you can’t even understand that we do not have garlic bread at a breakfast-themed restaurant. Here is your ticket. Please pay and leave as soon as possible.”

He was embarrassed, and I no longer have a job, but it was so worth it.

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We Eat People Like You For Breakfast