We Can’t Weather Any More Of These Crazies

I work in an outdoorsy mountain/camping gear store. It has been raining heavily all week.

A customer is at the counter with a high-end rain jacket. As I ring it up, he leans in, voice low and intense.

Customer: “You know why it’s been pouring for weeks, right? Manufactured storms. Insurance companies and outdoor brands cooking up bad weather, so we’ll all rush out to buy stuff like this.”

Me: “Storms … made by jacket companies?”

Customer: “Exactly. Climate change! Super storms! It’s all manufactured! Ever wonder why every year is always the wettest or the hottest on record?!”

Me: “Yeah… It’s climate change.”

Customer: “It’s man-made!”

He pays, and I fold the jacket and slide the receipt toward him.

Me: “Sir, if we could control the weather, trust me: I’d schedule sunshine on my days off.”

Customer: “You joke, but it’s true! Every time I go out to vote, it rains! They turn it on to stop me voting!”

He rants a bit more before leaving.

Coworker: “Oh no…”

Me: “What?”

Coworker: “He has a raincoat now, a good one! Next time… he can vote.”

Me: “Oh no…”