We Can Explain It To You In Your Own Language

I am dining at a fancy restaurant for a special occasion. The restaurant is established, Asian-family-owned, and famously does not suffer fools. I overhear a diner who has been obnoxious and entitled all night.

Diner: “Excuse me, waiter! This is ridiculous! I ordered soup, but instead, I got this slop!”

Waiter: “I am sorry, ma’am, but that is the soup you ordered. Is there a problem with the temperature, consistency?”

Diner: “All of it! You’re all useless! I don’t know why this place is so highly recommended! Just you wait until I get you on Yelp!”

Waiter: “Ma’am, I have offered many ways to please you, but I see that you are intent on having this battle today. If this is how you wish to proceed, shall I just forego the other courses and bring you your bill?”

Diner: “How dare you?! You [Asian slur]! Do you even understand English?! Do you understand how serious this is?!”

Waiter: “Ma’am, I—”

Diner: “I am fluent in English! How dare—”

Waiter: “And I can speak fluent b****. Cash or credit?”